Tuesday, December 1, 2009

was it the cookies?

I am going to start by saying how much I hate double standards. Men can gain weight and be ok with it. I HATE THEM FOR THAT... ok hate is a strong word but #&(@$&*(##*@(#U@(IP~!

I'm not sure if I gained weight or am bloated. I'm leaning on the gaining weight. I am so frustrated. It's been a total of 10-15 pounds over the last couple of years. I am not happy with myself for that reason. I think since Thanksgiving I've gained about 2 pounds. GRRRR.... I am in some kind of mental block I can NOT get the scale under 133 or 134. I can range anywhere in a given day (depending on what time it is) from 133-137. I'm not sure why such a huge fluctuation. But whatever! I am ONLY 5ft1in. SHORT.. My ideal weight is 110-115. I am personally fine with 120.

I know I've been eating a TON of desserts lately... THAT has to stop. DH is gone for work again he left this morning and will be back on Friday. I want to lose that weight I gained this past week by the time he gets back.

And another thing. I really hate how media portrays women. We are supposed to be size 0 and tiny. Some of us will never see that. Some of us are proportioned (have boobs and booty naturally).. I have been cursed with HUGE boobs... my butt isn't the smallest either.. but when I lose weight it will vanish mostly. My boobs however will not go below a "D" cup... *SIGH* My upper back has been giving me problems. But I refuse to get a reduction. God made me the way I am for a reason. With wide hips and big boobs you think I'd be able to pop babies out like rabbits. NOPE we have 1 kid, and tried for another and it didn't happen... Guess just because you look like you can "breed" doesn't mean you can. LOL.

OK I've got my frustration out for the day..

HERE's to loosing 1-2 pds by Friday and 20 overall in the next 4-6 months!

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